can't stop, won't stop
by honestlydarkprincess
Summary: It sucks that Clarke didn't realize she was in love with her best friend until after she slept with him. Now she's gotten herself into a friends with benefits situation when all she really wants is to be his girlfriend. Is it worth risking what they do have in order to ask for more?


_**I've decided to split up the multifandom drabble collection into separate fics, it wasn't working the way I had it, so I'm reposting them on their own.**_

 **Based off dialogue prompt: "Do you ever think we should just stop doing this?"**

 **Enjoy!**

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Unfortunately for Clarke, it wasn't until after she had slept with Bellamy that she had realized she was in love with him.

Somehow it just hadn't occurred to her before. Loving him had just become such a normal, constant part of her that she didn't even realize it.

Sleeping with him had certainly made her realize it though. They had been drunk and happy and they'd started cuddling. That wasn't unusual for them, they were almost always touching in some way. But this time it had felt different. There was an underlying tension there that wasn't usually present. Or maybe it was. Apparently, Clarke wasn't very good at noticing things.

So, she'd kissed him, and he kissed her back.

The rest of the night was a blur of discarded clothes, moans, and toe-curling pleasure. He was good in bed, of course he was, but it was the intimacy of it all that had made her figure it out. Bellamy had fallen asleep with his arm wrapped around her, a strong, comforting weight on her stomach. Clarke had taken one look at his stupid, sweet sleeping face and realized she was head over heels for this man.

In the morning, though, they didn't talk about it. Clarke was expecting Bellamy to say something. Either that he wanted to start dating or that it had been a one time mistake (the former was her preferred course of action), but didn't. The day had gone on as it usually did and by the time Clarke finally knew what she wanted it felt like too much time had passed. That she had missed her window to talk about it.

So, she stayed quiet. She fully expected it to have been a one-time thing. At least until she summoned the courage to confess her feelings.

Then it had happened again. And they still didn't talk about it.

After it happened a third time Clarke decided to confess her feelings. I mean, there was a pretty likely chance that Bellamy returned her feelings if he had hooked up with her three times, right?

With that running through her head, Clarke had made her way to the bar where everyone was meeting. Maybe she could get there early and talk to Bellamy before everyone arrived.

However, when she got there, she saw something she really, really did not want to see.

Bellamy flirting with another girl.

How could she have been so stupid as to think that he returned her feelings? It was probably just sex for him.

Turning on her heel, Clarke rushed out of the bar, texting Raven that she couldn't make it as she went. She didn't even notice Bellamy looking up and seeing her, staring at her as she rushed away.

Clarke spent the rest of the night curled up reading her favourite book and listening to soft music, angry at herself that she was upset Bellamy had never called or texted to see why she couldn't make bar night.

As time passed, they fell into a friends-with-benefits type situation. Clarke had decided to lock her feelings away, she would take what she could get. At least she got the opportunity to be with Bellamy, to be close to him. She didn't want to give that up by ruining it with her feelings. And it wasn't like she wasn't happy. I mean, she wasn't as happy as she could be, if he loved her the way she wanted him to, but this was good enough for now, right?

Yet, as time continued to pass and things didn't look like they were going to change, Clarke couldn't take it anymore.

Lying there, in the afterglow with sweat cooling on her skin, Clarke knew she had to say something.

She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to see his reaction.

"Do you ever think we should just stop doing this?"

Clarke felt him tense up beside her, the silence that dragged after her statement didn't make her feel any better.

It took Bellamy a few tries but eventually, he was able to say, "Do you want to stop?"

"No…but I— I just— I can't take it anymore. I can't take knowing what you feel like, what you taste like, but knowing that you aren't mine. I think we need to stop, Bell." Clarke admitted, unable to look at his face while she said it.

"Clarke...I've been yours since we were 15 years old. I thought you knew that."

Clarke's head snapped up to meet his gaze. "What?"

He sighed. "I've been in love with you since we were kids. I just didn't say anything because I knew you didn't feel the same way. I knew it wasn't a good idea to sleep with you when you don't feel the same way but I couldn't help myself. And we never talked about it after the first time and I was worried if I asked for more I'd lose what I had."

"Oh my god, you're such an idiot." Clarke huffed.

Before he could get offended, Clarke pressed her lips against his, showing him through the kiss exactly just how she felt about him.

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 **thanks for reading :)**


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